Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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