the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
