I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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