Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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