i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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