so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
