i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
