i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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