Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
