He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
