Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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