my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
