I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
