super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
