It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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