why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
