she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I've blown a few things in my day
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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