so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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