I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
