there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
