Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
