I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
