You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
