I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
