yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
