Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
worst night to have a conscience
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
