I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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