did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
