dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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