Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
