shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
