I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
