I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize