i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Randomize