i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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