I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Never let your siblings swipe right.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
