I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
