worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
