oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
