I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
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