So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
