Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
