beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
