Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think i peed on brittanys purse
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
