I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
