Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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