even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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