just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
