Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
