how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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