We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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