What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
