Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
