what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
