suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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