I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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