i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
