Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
should my penis look like a turkey
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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